Why Nothing's Working
If you're someone who feels like they've tried everything when it comes to personal style, but nothing seems to work for you, this is for you.
This is the most common reason or thing I see happening with clients that keeps them from seeing real results with their personal style.
It is also why many of the methods you may have tried in the past didn't work out and you feel stuck and don't know what to do.
The reason every method of personal styling (dressing for your body type, capsule wardrobes, purging your closet etc) you have tried in your past is not working is because when you're trying these things you are focused on getting it "right", but you haven't defined what "the right way" actually is to you, you're letting the method or process do it.
You haven't asked what does getting this process right, or method, or way of creating my personal look like for me at it's core? What is right for me when it comes to clothes? And how will I know?
And it's okay to realize you may not know, but it is the perfect opportunity to explore this and get to know yourself better.
When you are using methods, and processes, following them to a tee in order to get them just right and finally feel stylish, without any room for what is important to you or what feels right for you (essentially basing your style only on the external rules and opinions of others) you are going to have that gut feeling that something is still off, which is usually what has people giving up before the end or not loving their final results.
Personal style processes and methods are not a one size fits all.
Which is why some methods work for some people, while it doesn't for others.
Some people need the efficiency of a capsule wardrobe in their lives, while others love wearing clothes that are specifically meant for their body type, and some people want to only wear colours that they feel are their best match. But that doesn't mean every one does, and is why we sometimes don't enjoy our personal style once we go through these processes. Even if it "looks good" on the outside, like we finally figured it out, when we focus on getting it right based on what an external source says is right, and don't leave any room for how we would love to express ourselves, we still don't feel quite like ourselves in our clothes.
It's like a pair of pants, they are not one size fits all.
Sometimes you are the lucky person that the pants were literally "made for", other times you're in the dressing room and you love the pants but in the back of your mind you're thinking of all the reasons someone like you shouldn't wear them, "they aren't right for your body type" (but you love them they're so comfortable), "they don't fit in with your capsule wardrobe" (but you love them and would love to wear them), and you may even start to wonder what other people would think because they've never seen you wear pants like this.
This is where you need to forget the rules for a moment and ask yourself what would make a pair of pants right for me? Not the process or method you've been following, not for someone else. What makes a piece of clothing right for me? Do these pants feel right to me?
The reality is you can use any method you want to create your personal style and you can get amazing results from all of them. I know this because it is my job to help you create your personal style in any way you'd like. But that is the difference. When you work with me as a personal style coach we are focused on making the process or method you want to use whether it is mine or another, right for you. In other words we make sure that it actually feels good to you, instead of forced.
So if you want to try a new way of creating your personal style ask yourself these questions to avoid getting caught up in getting it right externally while feeling unsatisfied internally.
"What makes something right for me?"
"What does looking good mean to me?"
AND your answer can be anything to these questions, there is no judgement, this is about what you want, but keep writing and going deeper until you can feel in your bones that that is what is true for you.
What does it mean for you?
For a lot of people the first thing that comes up is looking thinner would mean looking good.
Before a bunch of people come for my throat, this is just a reality, that a lot of women think or want this, and this may feel controversial but I want everyone to know that when you come to me this is a space of no judgement, we are working on getting this right for you.
If you are someone who wants to be thinner or thinks being thinner would be what means looking good for you that's okay BECAUSE...
You're going to ask yourself why that is important to you/why you believe that means looking good (just like you would with any of the other things I'm about to share as examples) and if it is something that feels right for you (in other words when you think about it, you feel good) and has nothing to do with anyone else. Because you want to understand what is truly important to you regardless of what others or society believe. That comes from noticing how you feel about it.
The reality is that you are allowed to want to be thin if that feels aligned for you, the same way you are allowed to be exactly as you are now, the same way you are allowed to be fat. This is about what is right for you, and it is not my job or my business to tell you what looking good means to you. You can look good and create a wardrobe you love in any body, the important thing is making sure you know what is right for you and what feels good to you, not what is right for someone else.
Looking good or getting it right can also mean:
-Wearing what's in season.
-Feeling like your wardrobe is aesthetically pleasing.
-Being happy or filled with joy when you see your outfits in the mirror.
-Wearing everything you've ever wanted to.
-Physically feeling good/comfortable in your clothes.
The list goes on and on because we all have a feeling of what is right for us when we let ourselves explore this area of our lives. Just remember to go deep and ask yourself why that thing means looking good to you and if you feel good about it being your guide post for how you will get it right for yourself.
I also highly recommend having a style goal, this is part of the method I use with clients and it will help you uncover what actually matters to you when it comes to your clothes.
You can find a free worksheet to create yours in the members area or you can get started on creating your personal style in a way that is right for you by signing up for 1:1 coaching.
Remember, if you love your reasons, and you can feel those positive vibrations in your body around them, you're on the right track with what getting it right and looking good truly means to you.
Love & Trust Yourself