Effortless Style Reset Part 1
A 3 part series on what I would do if I was starting over with personal style.
3 effortless steps to start living by over the first few weeks of the new year so you can have a style reset instead of purging all of your things and buying stuff that still isn't working for you.
Let's get into it!
Step 1. Stop Looking For Your Style In Other Peoples
We are constantly being told to do just that, but it never leads to creating your own way of getting dressed, your own taste, or your own personal style.
Why are we told this? Because it sells clothes.
"look like her"
"be like her, by wearing this"
"be more aesthetic"
"be on trend"
etc.
And although I don't think there is anything wrong with outfit inspiration and seeing how other people dress and style clothes to learn for yourself... I think we are getting it wrong.
The difference between saying something is inspiration and actually feeling inspired is the key.
There is a lot of inspiration out there available to us from catwalks, and clothing brands, to influencers and our social environments.
The problem is in putting on and buying what they are telling you to because it will make you feel "happier, prettier, or better" when that isn't true, clothes can't do that. That's an inside job (and how style coaching transforms personal style into you actually get to have fun with and enjoy, like any other hobby you love).
The other is in the pressure to conform and just replicate what is well liked, or the current aesthetic - this is being influenced, not inspired.
You'll know you feel inspired when you can actually feel the emotion of inspiration in your body which makes you feel pulled to create something of your own.
Inspiration is not effective when it’s a tool used to create looks that don’t mean anything to you. but when you focus on feeling the emotion you can create outfits you love.
Even if clothes could make you feel happier, prettier, or better, what works for one person to feel happier, prettier, and better most likely won't work for the next... which leads into my next point.
Simply put we have to stop looking for our style in other people because it doesn’t work.
Your style isn’t her style, and her style isn’t mine, and mine isn’t yours.
And I have been there! Struggling to pick outfits every morning, feeling like my wardrobe is incredibly in-cohesive but not knowing why, and also have zero desire to wear most of my clothes...
This happens because parts of what you love and the parts of yourself you end up holding back to replicate someone else’s style either poke through (which is what is creating a lack of cohesion in your wardrobe) or get pushed down (which is what makes style feel vain, pointless, and also what drives you back to wearing your leggings or feeling like you have nothing to wear).
It is one of the easiest things you can to in order to actually get in touch with what your style is and it's also a best kept secret because how can you be mass marketed to if you stop wanting to be someone you're not?
So what does this look like?
You don't have to stop being inspired by influencers or fashion.
You just have to stop looking for answers outside of yourself.
Her style is not the answer to yours. Stop looking for your style in other peoples.
You get to be curious and open while looking at clothes and notice when you are experiencing inspiration or when you are feeling insecure.
When we feel inspired it opens us up to create - and we tend to feel inspired when we are living in our lives instead of waiting for the right moment or thing to happen.
When we feel insecure it leads to finding ways to validate ourselves (buying trendy clothes that don't necessarily mean anything to us.)
Stop looking for your style in other peoples, and start noticing what makes you feel truly inspired.
And one last reminder:
On social media you are almost always seeing the finished product, not the start of someones style journey.
This can make person style seem very confusing and overwhelming and like you’re not doing it right when you most likely are doing it very right. It's hard to know if you're getting it right for yourself if you are comparing to a measure that you know nothing about because it is outside of you.
Love & Trust Yourself