SUMMER STYLE
Summer is coming and with that so is summer style...
And if you live somewhere like me that usually means hauling out your warm weather clothes that get tucked away over the long winters.
A lot of the advice you might see in regards to bringing out your clothes from last spring and summer is that if you’re worried or nervous about them not fitting just go get things that do.
I want to urge you to pause.. because your clothes not fitting does not make you feel nervous/worried/ashamed/defeated…
It’s what we make the clothes not fitting mean about ourselves that makes us feel nervous/worried/ashamed/defeated.
But if we give the clothes the power of creating the way we feel, avoid them and just go get something that fits.. we never get to acknowledge the things we are telling ourselves that hurt so badly…
And when we don’t acknowledge the real cause of the problem… the new clothes that fit become a bandaid not a solution, and we still don’t know why we don’t feel good in our clothes, or our own skin.
Don't get me wrong part of the solution can be to have clothes that fit. The problem is when you have the clothes that fit, but you still feel ashamed, defeated, or discouraged.
Having clothes that fit is great, because it's more real options available for you to wear.
However, simply having clothes that fit doesn't always solve the internal conflict you're having.
So pause...
What are you avoiding by avoiding your summer clothes, and/or going to just get new clothes that fit?
It's usually a feeling, that doesn't feel so great, the one you know that you don't want to experience anymore and are hoping the new clothes will take away, or that avoiding the old clothes will help avoid feeling the feeling.
The reason it doesn't feel so great is because it's an inner wisdom that is calling to you that can't simply be explained by intellectualizing or getting new stuff. And it tends to feel exacerbated by the resistance to fully seeing and allowing it to be there.
Remember getting new stuff doesn't always solve for your core belief about yourself. It simply solves the problem of not having clothes that fit, to now having clothes that fit.
It's the core belief that feels so painful.
The amazing news about this is that it is a belief, and we are capable of changing our beliefs.
All it requires is for you to ask yourself "Why am I feeling this feeling?" and notice what you are making wearing summer clothes mean about yourself, or what you are making your size mean about yourself?
Our gut instinct is to blame our clothes or our bodies, or ourselves for not just getting/having clothes that fit. But there is a reason we are not wanting to go get or have the clothes that fit, so what is your reason?
Whatever your reason is, whatever you are making it mean about yourself. That is what is creating the painful emotion.
From this place of knowing is how you'll actually be able to recognize what is causing the feelings that don't feel good, and make decisions about if you actually want to hold this belief or not.
If you don't want to keep it, start poking holes in it. I've mentioned it before, but start looking for ways to disprove the belief instead of continuing to collect evidence for it, and start actively practising the intentional beliefs you want to have about yourself.
You can still go get new clothes, but if the problem goes beyond just needing clothes that fit... as in shopping, accepting the person you are right now, your relationship with yourself and your body feel painful. Or you can't seem to figure out why you can't be bothered to get new clothes or let go of old clothes... book a consult call with me and we will get to the bottom of it so you can start to embody the solution instead of reinforcing the problem.
Sometimes getting new clothes can open us up to changing our beliefs as well, but it helps to know what they actually are. So when you start dealing with summer clothes ask yourself what am I making this mean about myself, and you'll have unlocked incredible personal insight.
Love & Trust Yourself