Let Yourself Be Bad At It
Let yourself be bad at it.
One thing that I have really noticed this past year that allowed me to see a lot of transformation in who I am and how I experience life, was my decision to let myself be bad at things, especially things I have never experienced before.
So today I wanted to share how this changed my life for the better, and how it allowed me to become really good at the things I want to be really good at.
I'm also sharing this because I know for a lot of women there is a fear of being bad at personal style, that you don't know what you're doing, or you've maybe never intentionally tried to create your own because if you try to do it on purpose and fail it would mean that you suck at style and have no hope, so instead of trying, you beat yourself to the punch and don't try because you don't want to find out that you're truly bad at it.
This post is for you, and it is to invite you, welcome you, and show you that it's okay to be bad at it. It's worth it to be bad at it, and when you actually do it on purpose you don't stay bad at it.
I have tried many new things this past year, and did poorly at them. At first.
Giving myself permission to not be perfect and to even suck at things is what made me willing to do them. These things weren't even things I was or could hide from people while I worked on them quietly either.
I have done this work with my personal style, and continue to do it whenever I want to try to wear something new, or style an outfit in a way I never have before.
However, nothing quite showed how important it is to let myself be bad at something as starting a podcast did.
If you haven't listened to the podcast yet, definitely check it out here, I am very proud of how far it has come in a year and you guys inspire me to make it better and better.
What is fascinating about the podcast to me is that if you listen from the first episode titled "starting" to the most recent episode which will be this one on letting yourself be bad at it so much has changed.
When I started the podcast I had no idea what I really wanted to do with it, or how I would even do it. But remember we don't let the "I don't knows" stop us from trying.
I googled the functional stuff, like how to get the podcast actually on podcast platforms, and how to record a podcast, but outside of that the rest was up to me to figure out.
I told myself from the beginning that because this was something I wanted I was going to be willing to be really bad at it in the beginning so that I could get really good at it. I was going to see it through till the end.
This is one of those defining things that you can apply to personal style as well.
If feeling good in your clothes, having your own style, or simply feeling truly stylish are important to you, then it is worth being bad at it in order to get good at it.
If you truly don't care about how you feel in your clothes (you have no drama, or heartache around what you wear) then this may not matter. But if you are sick of what your current situation is with clothes and are too afraid to start trying to make a change on purpose, give yourself permission to start and to start badly right now. Procrastinating this desire will not keep you from feeling bad.
This doesn't even mean you necessarily will start off doing badly, it just means that you are taking off the pressure to perform, and focusing on experiencing personal style differently from the way you currently are, and intentionally so that you can take steps towards enjoying it and being really good at it.
With my podcast it is quite clear to me all the growth that took place, from getting comfortable simply just talking into a mic (being willing to share my voice), to being willing to now share personal stories.
I went from using a mini mic I held between my fingers to deciding that I wanted this podcast to have the best sound quality and getting a professional microphone anchored to my desk.
I originally thought I needed segments in the podcast because I noticed podcasts I listened to do that, but then later decided I didn't want to have them because it didn't feel right to me, and I wanted to focus on breaking down one core element on every episode to make that aspect of style easier and more approachable for anyone listening. I was learning how to find my own way.
In the span of a year a lot of things have changed and I love where the podcast is now and where it is growing and going. I am forever grateful to the past me who decided they were going to start, even if it meant failing, and sucking at podcasting because all of those episodes got this podcast to where it is now.
The biggest misconception I have come up when I say that it's okay to let yourself be bad at it though is that I mean it's okay for you or me to do poorly, to not try your best and not care.
Letting yourself be bad at it means recognizing that you cannot master or perfect something you have never done before at the drop of a hat, and letting that be a reason not to start at all is not a good excuse.
Allowing yourself to be bad at it doesn't mean you don't try, it means you do try, and you go into what you are trying with intention and desire to get better. It means you aren't applying unnecessary pressure to get it right at first, you're letting yourself figure out how you are going to get to really good by learning from all the moments you weren't. Giving yourself the space, time, and love to grow.
There is a lot of learning opportunity and room for growth if you’re willing to be bad at something, that can completely change who you are as well instead of just not trying at all out of fear of failure or it going badly.
Imagine if you let yourself go after having your own personal style, feeling good in your clothes, and being truly stylish? How does that feel?
If you got to feel good in your clothes everyday how badly would you want it?
I bet it would be worth being bad at it in the beginning, knowing that you can only get better if you actually let yourself get past the scary starting point, which is what letting yourself suck at it does.
If you already don't like your clothes your worst case scenario is most likely already happening anyway, stop letting that mean inner voice tell you that you won't get better if you actually try on purpose.
The feeling bad, and the sucking at it, are temporary if you choose to really go after your desires, wishing you could go after them and not letting yourself out of fear that it could go bad in my experience is far more painful and draining then just sucking at something for a little while, or however long I need to get better at it.
Think of it in any context of your life. When you first start working out you don't really know what you are doing or what works best for you, you have to be willing to try different things, not have things go well, and also not see immediate results, but if you let yourself not be perfect, and not have to get it right right from the start you'll see a complete transformation of your body and mind.
It's the same when you first start working somewhere new, or when you first start a new hobby or skill.
Ask yourself if this is something you really want, and if you're willing to be bad at it if that means you get to have it.
Take away the goals, the pressure, the need to have others think you are always put together.
Let yourself be bad at it, let yourself laugh it off, and use your new knowledge to start enjoying personal style more and more.
I love personal style because I'm always willing to suck at it, to not get it right, and to even look bad because I don't want to limit myself ahead of time.
I love my podcast because I have grown so much from it and it allowed me to see how in any area of my life I can start somewhere and give it my all instead of telling myself I need to hold myself back from things that create abundance, joy, and connection in my life.
Let yourself be bad at it so that you can become great at it.
Trust & Love Yourself