How To Overcome Personal Style Fears - Part 1
What are you scared of when it comes to personal style?
What stresses you out the most when it comes to getting dressed, going shopping, and trying new things on?
Here are some of the number 1 answers I get when I ask women what scares or worries them the most about personal style:
The fear of looking bad, foolish, or like they don't know what they are doing
The fear of wasting money
The fear of wasting time
The fear of putting in a bunch of work and not seeing any results
The fear of drawing unwanted attention
Worrying about comparison ("She does it better")
The fear of being stuck where you are, that this is "as good as it gets"
Here is why you not only don't have to fear each of these thing, but what they can unlock for you when it comes to personal style.
Yes, each of these fears is like a locked door and once you are clear on how to unlock them, you open yourself up to all the amazing things personal style can offer you.
Let's get into how to overcome these style fears!
The first fear is a pretty big one for many women. Nobody wants to look bad, embarrass themselves, or have people think you are doing something wrong.
If you are someone who lets the fear of looking bad hold you back from creating your personal style here is what I want you to ask:
"According to who do I look bad?"
I want you to acknowledge if your fear stems from the worry that other people think you look bad, because this is out of your control and building a wardrobe to fulfill others will never fulfill your needs, or if you think you look bad.
Now, if you think you look bad, ask yourself why you think you do.
Is it coming from a place of believing you should look different in order for something to look right (meet societal standards)? OR, do you just not like it?
There is a big difference.
If you simply don't like it, become aware of why you don't like it, and learn from it. Then go and change into something you do like.
If you think it looks bad because of societal messaging, and beauty standards, ask yourself if you truly agree with societal messaging and why.
If you agree, and don't like your why (it doesn't feel good), go deeper.
Ask if you're willing to dissolve this belief that says you "look bad", that originated from other people, and messaging outside of you.
Ask if you're willing to disagree and start believing something new. You don't have to jump to thinking it is beautiful, just notice if you really want to think something looks bad.
It's okay to think something looks bad, but you can start dismantling that thought by considering if your reasons feel good or not for thinking it looks bad.
If your reasons don't feel good this is the moment where you decide what you want to think and believe instead. It doesn't have to become beautiful, but it can become okay, and it can become something you like to wear. PLUS it gives you an opportunity to notice the things you do like about certain pieces that have nothing to do with you. Like enjoying the freedom of sleeveless tops and dresses, or how comfortable form fitting clothes are, etc.
Knowing what you think, and if it came from you matters.
You'll know if you actually just don't like something and think it looks bad from a place of personal taste because there will not be very much headache and heartache around it. You'll be able to let it go with ease.
Where as when you think something looks bad because you have internalized what the societal beauty standard is, you will most likely notice a lot of frustration, headache, and heartache. This is you internally battling a belief you don't really want but are in a habit of practising.
Having awareness of this is what allows you to dissolve the fear of looking bad because you cannot control how other people see you, but you can control how you see yourself and how you define looking bad.
The second fear is wasting money.
Lots of my clients (before we get started), and women in general have a fear of wasting their money when it comes to personal style, which leads us to feeling boxed into a limited way of dressing.
If you are worried about wasting your money on new things that may not work, I want you to ask yourself: "What am I currently spending money on? And are those things working for me?"
I want you to notice if what you are doing right now feels like it is bringing you closer to your personal style, or even just feeling more stylish, and good in your clothes.
Even if you buy something that doesn't end up working for you (which by the way, with personal style coaching this is easily preventable) become aware of it, accept that it didn't work for you and notice why.
Finding things that don't work for you is a good thing because it brings you closer to knowing and having what you really want when it comes to your clothes.
Telling yourself that you are scared of wasting money will hold you back from finding and having the things that you do love.
If you want to stop wasting money by buying more of the stuff you already know is not working for you though, I recommend creating a style goal.
If you don't know how to do this, there is a post and episode on how to do it. You can also sign up for my free members area where you'll find the step by step guide for creating your personal style goal.
Having a style goal helps you come to know what you really want when it comes to your clothes, and it keeps you aligned and focused so that you spend money on things that will actually have you feeling stylish and good in your clothes.
So, if you have a fear of wasting money when it comes to trying to change your personal style, I want you to consider everything you purchased recently that wasn't "risky" and was more of the same old same old... does that feel like money well spent?
If it doesn't, start creating your personal style goal, and stop telling yourself that spending money on feeling good in your clothes is a waste.
The last one we are going to cover today is the fear of wasting time.
This fear is incredibly similar to the fear of wasting money. And it comes from not having a clear direction or goal when it comes to what you want your personal style to actually be.
It is very easy to waste time when you don't know what you want.
If you are scared of wasting time start creating your personal style goal right now.
It will help you make decisions quickly and with ease when it comes to getting dressed, and shopping because it acts like a personal guide.
I also want you to ask yourself if you feel like it is a waste of time because you're worried it might not work out.
If you're worried about the probability of creating your personal style that you actually love, this is the real time wasted.
Telling yourself that trying to figure out what clothes work for you and feel good for you is a waste of time will keep you stuck, truly wasting time wishing you felt better in your clothes.
If you want more help overcoming any of these fears this is what I help you do. You can book your first call for FREE here.
Love & Trust Yourself