How To Love The Clothes You Have
This blog post is all about what to do when you can’t physically change your wardrobe and you want it to be different than it is.
There are numerous reasons for not being able to change your current wardrobe, from money, to health, time, ability, and more.
The point is, even though it isn't talked about a lot, it isn't always possible to change your wardrobe, whether you want a couple new pieces or to change the whole thing.
I am going to break down how to love and at the very least have acceptance for the clothes you currently have, even if they don't feel like they are your style.
Chances are you have a few pieces that you still love to wear, you don't actually wish you could replace everything.
Round up the pieces you love the most that feel most aligned with the wardrobe you desire to have and write out what you think and feel when you think of these clothes, or when you put them on. What is it about them that makes you feel good in them?
Once you know the thoughts, you'll ultimately know how you feel in those clothes. It's important to know how you think and feel in the clothes you still love to wear because they serve as a guide for all of your other clothes.
You're going to use this guide post to help manage your mind around the clothes you don’t like.
Before we start managing your mind on the clothes you don't really like you're going to distinguish between the pieces that you feel bored of or "do nothing for you" versus the pieces that make you feel horrible when you wear them.
The pieces that make you feel horrible? Box them up and donate them.
It is a lot harder to manage your mind around the pieces that make you feel like this than the ones that you simply just aren't wearing, aren't sure how to wear, don't love wearing, or are bored of.
Taking the time to separate your clothes into these categories will save you so much time, frustration, and energy going forward.
The other really big thing I want to touch on is that it is far better to have 5-8 outfits you really enjoy wearing, than to have many outfits that you hate.
I know that everything we see in the world sends the same message that we should always be wearing something new and different, and to repeat outfits is a grave fashion mistake, but it's not.
The real mistake is wearing a bunch of things that you hate wearing, things that immediately have you thinking horrible things about yourself and feeling horrible in your clothes.
I would rather wear the same 7 outfits every week that I absolutely love and feel beautiful in, than be constantly wearing new outfits that are just okay to me, or make me feel awful.
If you struggle with letting go of clothes hop on a consult call with me here.
Once you have removed the clothes that just cause more drama in your life than you need, you're going to start managing your mind around the pieces that you don't love wearing and feel boring, or not really like you.
Side note: if you want to do this work on the pieces that make you feel awful you most definitely can, but make a conscious decision about whether or not it is really worth it to.
The first thing you need to remember while you're working on loving more of your clothes is that it’s not a race. You can’t fake loving them.
Most of the time you’re not going to see your thoughts and feelings about the clothes you feel indifferent towards change in an instant. Think about how much you love your favourite pieces.
That didn't happen out of no where. You may have loved it from the first time you put it on, but the reason for that is because when you put it on, you had positive thoughts about it that made you feel really good about wearing it. It's also how it became one of your favourites. You've practised loving your favourite pieces every time you look at or wear them, so they naturally and effortlessly have your love attached to them now.
It didn't necessarily feel like you were putting in a lot of effort because you maybe started off on a positive note, but it takes the same amount of energy and practise to start enjoying the pieces you don't love so much.
Take it one piece at a time.
Maybe its something expensive that you've always wanted to wear but never could figure out how and so you became bored of it and gave up on it. Maybe it is a pair of shoes or jeans you think don't suit you anymore, or a dress you don't think is flattering.
Picking one piece to start with will make the process so much easier. It's like when people say learning more languages is easier after you've learned your second. It's because you've trained your brain to think differently.
Once you've picked your one piece, you're going to try wearing it once a week. If you aren't sure how to style it, head over to my Pinterest for inspiration or to search "How to style _______?".
While you're trying to wear it your mind is going to start telling you all the reasons why you shouldn't and that is normal and okay. Things like, "that doesn't look good", "people will judge you for wearing this", "you don't know how to wear this", etc.
When this happens notice the loudest thought and how it is making you feel. Let yourself pause and just feel it. Most of our feelings are incredibly temporary and letting yourself feel it will allow you to release it more easily. Try your best not to act on the emotion you feel. The most common thing to do when you are experiencing discomfort with your clothes is to change (which can be a good thing, but that isn't what we are trying to do), or hold onto that feeling towards that piece of clothing for the rest of the day while you go about everything else you need to do.
Once you've paused and let the feeling you don't desire pass through you so that it isn't the place you're taking action from you have the opportunity to change your mind. Once the negative feeling has calmed or passed this is time for you to consider all of your favourite pieces that you love wearing. Think about what you love about each and notice the feelings that come along with those thoughts. See if you can find a similar thought about what you are wearing, or create a new positive one that makes you feel differently or a little better about it.
Practise this until this piece becomes more beautiful in your eyes, and something that you naturally reach for. That's when you'll know you've completely changed the way you think of your clothes and expanded your wardrobe.
Once you do it with one piece, it will get easier as you do more.
If you want one on one help with this process, book a consult call here.
Love & Trust Yourself