How To Get Out Of A Style Rut
Do you feel stuck with where your current style is at? Like this is as good as it gets?
Do you have thoughts like: “It doesn’t really need to be better” or “It’s good enough”
(Meanwhile you don’t feel like you in your own clothes, something is lacking).
Or is what you’re feeling just a sign that you’re ready for more, and better, but taking action to have that feels uncomfortable and maybe not even possible?
This post is going to show you how to get out of your style rut, and you might not even need to change your wardrobe.
So let's get into it!
Getting out of a style rut starts with knowing why you are in one.
Once you know why you are where you are, you get to decide if you want to stay. If you don't want to feel stuck I am going to show you how to start moving in a new direction.
Feeling stuck when it comes to style typically starts in one of these three places:
1. You're new to personal style, as in you have never tried to full out have one on purpose. The entire idea of creating your personal style when you haven't before will have you feeling stuck when you are paralyzed with fear and overwhelm about where to start and wanting to "get it right", while also not wanting to leave your comfort zone.
2. You've entered a new phase of your life and your wardrobe no longer aligns with who you are or the life you have. In this case you have created your personal style on purpose before so you know it can be done, but you are holding onto your past and whatever part of it that is still serving you. That may be the convenience of just having a defined style and not wanting to start over, but it could also be comfort in the way of avoiding the person you've become out of not accepting the new you (this typically comes up when we change sizes in clothes, all the way to life changing events outside of our control, or simply being done with people pleasing).
3. You've become complacent, you've knowingly or unknowingly stopped trying new things, learning about style, or growing who you are and that expression of you through your clothes. "You've peaked". Hit the plateau and believe this is as good as it gets. So why bother trying anymore? DO NOT LET THIS ONE SNEAK UP ON YOU. This one usually happens when we silently stop exploring life, trying things, or seeking new experiences outside of our comfort zones.
I'm not saying to never enjoy what you have or to never feel content. It's important to appreciate and love what you have, and who you are/have become. Becoming complacent is to ignore everything you did to become who are, and what you created, it's the lack of appreciation, and lack of awareness for what got you where you are, and what will help you continue to discover more of yourself.
And if it isn't one of these for you, get a journal and find out what has you feeling so stuck. It's important to know the real cause of the problem.
So, what do you do once you know what has you feeling stuck?
If you're completely new to personal style and don't know where to start that is normal.
What you need to know is that there is no "getting it right" in the beginning, and the only way to actually get it right is to be willing to get it wrong. You've never done this before, how are you supposed to know what to do? Let alone get it perfectly right on the first try? I don't know anyone that is a master in their field, hobby, or interests that started off doing it right, they were just excited, inspired, and wanting to experience all it has to offer (including the parts where they didn't get it right).
If you're worried about where you "should" start that also does not matter, because wherever you do start will be the right place to start, simply because it is where you started.
If it feels like I'm speaking in riddles, try this: If you're trying to decide between things like "Do I start with a capsule wardrobe? Or should I be dressing for my body type? Or maybe I should find out my colour palette first?" and spinning about making a choice without actually making a choice... It's most likely coming from a place of fear that there is a right way to start this journey and starting it wrong means you'll be doomed to being unstylish forever. Which is not true.
If you can think of multiple ways to start that is great, set a side some time to consider your options and at the end of that time decide that you are going to have a decision made about what approach feels best for you to take, and stick to it! But know that if you find it doesn't feel right for you you can choose a new path at any time. The biggest thing with this style rut is making a decision and getting started instead of sitting in confusion.
If you're stumped for even one way to get started I highly recommend listening to my other podcast episodes like "Style Goals" or learning how to do a pre-closet cleanse and then a closet cleanse. There are so many ways to get started and if you want help getting started that is what I am here for! (I also help you not give up when you reach the uncomfortable parts). I also urge you to push yourself to come up with a few ways you can get started and ask yourself what would be a way that feels good to you to get started.
If you are entering or have entered a new phase of life, it's important to uncover what is serving you about your previous style and why you feel you cannot let it go. Whether your size has changed, you've had a major mindset shift, or the circumstances of your life are different. You're going to want to ask yourself if you're willing to fully move into this new phase of life, and whether you are willing to create a new personal style with love instead of hate for the new you.
What is the same about this style rut as the one where you are just starting out, is that it's new. You've never been here before. Why are you suddenly supposed to know exactly what to do? The simplest recommendation I can make is to start by taking off all the pressure you've heaped onto yourself. Once you've decided that you don't have to know exactly what to do, ask yourself what you want to do to make the best of this new phase of your life. It can be just one thing that you want to do for yourself. Choose to take the next step instead of sitting in resistance.
And, if you haven't listened to it yet, the podcast episode on resistance will also help you. It discusses how you can create comfort in acceptance instead of holding onto old comforts that no longer serve who you are.
If you've become complacent... I find this style rut happens when we flow into auto-pilot and stop doing all of the thing we were doing to get where we are.
I've experienced this and my go to starting place is: start practising gratitude and appreciation for the woman that got you to where you are with your personal style. Begin to recognize everything you did for yourself all over again. Start choosing to have fun with your clothes again. Like I mentioned before, complacency (from what I've noticed/experienced) stems from a lack of appreciation. It's the feeling of "having arrived" and making it mean that the journey ends.
Again, I don't know any master of their field, hobby, or interest that one day believes they have seen all there is to see, learned all there is to learn, or done all there is to be done. To do so would be to take for granted all that area of life has to offer you, and everything you did for yourself. So to get out of this one you don't necessarily need to to change anything about your wardrobe, you just need to start appreciating it again, and asking yourself how you can appreciate it better or enjoy it more.
I can tell you one thing for sure, growth in your personal style is always possible.
For all of these things and especially if your style rut stems from something else, know that you do not have to have a master plan on exactly how you are going to get out of the style rut, you just have to be willing to do one thing, to take one step. Before you know it you'll be out.
It may feel uncomfortable to embrace a new version of you, or to create something new, whether it’s a new outfit, wardrobe, or mindset about clothes. But it’s also incredibly fun and fulfilling to step into the woman you know you are and want to be.
If something is tugging at you inside, wanting better, wanting more of you, schedule a free consult call with me, I’ll show you how simple and possible it is to enjoy personal style, whether it's new to you, or you want to come back to it.
Love & Trust Yourself