Hot Takes
Before we dive in this week's post may be a little more controversial than normal.
I am sharing what my personal opinions are when it comes to personal style and how they differ from the main stream narrative.
If you want a deep dive explanation on each of them check out the podcast where I explain my "controversial"opinions about personal style and what it means to be stylish.
This is a list of beliefs I hold (that you don't have to) about what personal style is, how to have it, and why it matters. A lot of my beliefs are not considered the "right way" to approach personal style but that's what makes them fun!!
Let me know your thoughts and let's get into it:
1. SLOW DOWN. There is no rush when it comes to personal style and being stylish. Not only is this approach better for the earth it also means less pressure on you. Personal Style is not a race, it is a journey and it is an amazing opportunity to get to know yourself. You don't have to know your style and have it hanging in your closet within weeks. At the time of this post I have not created the personal style I am looking to create, but I don't make that mean that I'm behind, or that I'm not stylish. I am taking my time to just enjoy this process and let myself find the clothes I really love. If you're not having fun with figuring out your personal style, it could be a sign for you to slow down too.
2. Delayed Gratification over Instant Gratification. I make a list of things I am looking for to add to my wardrobe, and at first patiently waiting to find them sucked. There were times when I just wanted to buy the jeans that were good enough just so I had them, but not because I loved them. However, I quickly learned that was the fastest way to collect a bunch of clothes I didn't really like wearing, or never wore. The pieces I waited to buy until they were exactly what I wanted felt immensely better to buy and I noticed I was willing to spend way more on them too. Finding and waiting to spend the money on the right pair of jeans that you love is so much more gratifying than just getting it over with so that you have whatever is in style right now, or purchasing a random pair to "feel better". Pick an item that you'd really like to have in your wardrobe and make it off limits until you find the perfect version of it that you have imagined in your head. When you do find it notice how rewarding it is to buy the thing that you actually love and feel like was meant for you. The other really cool thing about this is you'll start to notice if you actually want certain things long term, or if you were just feeling the pressure of short term social norms, trends, or influencing.
3. Your feelings play such a big role in your personal style and ignoring them to simply be seen as someone that looks good/stylish, yet still doesn’t feel like themselves in their clothes gets old quickly. Your emotions are your guide when it comes to your personal style. If you only needed to understand one thing to create your personal style it would be your emotions. I know what it's like to try and create a wardrobe that has all of the basic components that are considered stylish, and skip over how you actually feel in your clothes, and it doesn't feel good, and is what ultimately makes style feel shallow / vein / like a waste of time. When you focus on how you feel in your clothes, and intentionally choose clothes that feel good to you that's when style becomes fulfilling, beautiful, and empowering. (hello style goals).
4. Second hand clothes FTW. THE VARIETY!!! If I had to sell you on one aspect alone it would be this. Mainstream stores follow trends, thrift and consignment stores offer a variety of styles making it easier to find clothes that fit yours. Second hand clothes are great for slowing down fashion. They are also an opportunity to try designer brands at an affordable price point. (Some of my favourite finds are a Tory Burch navy blue and white knit sweater and a Ted Baker blue velvet blazer.)
5. Your size has nothing to do with how stylish you are. Style is a mindset and my Pinterest is dedicated to showing this. I cannot personally speak to being mid size, or plus size so I share women of all different shapes and sizes to show that this is true.
6. Personal style is not vain, selfish, or shallow. I mentioned it earlier that what makes it feel that way is trying to fit into a way of being that did not come from within you. There is nothing shallow, selfish, or vain about feeling really good in your clothes and being able to live your best life because of it.
7. Investing time and money into figuring out what your personal style will save you time and money. I remember spending money on whatever was considered trendy and feeling like I just never had a whole complete wardrobe or sense of style. I just had random pieces from different seasons. When I finally decided to figure out what I actually like to wear and how I wanted to feel in my clothes was the moment I truly stopped wasting time and money on them. The more time you spend upfront figuring out what is you actually want to and love to wear the less time and money you waste in the long run and this is how personal style coaching helps you, we start by figuring out how you actually want to feel in your clothes.
8. Your personal style and the things you wear are for your joy and satisfaction. What someone else thinks is stylish might not be to you and that's okay. Get dressed and buy the clothes that make you feel good and let go of trying to make sure others feel good about what you're wearing.
9. You cannot control whether or not someone thinks you look good or stylish. Stop trying to (this is a real time waster and it's exhausting). The only things you can control when it comes to your personal style is what you do and what you think about it. I saw a photo of Lilly Collins wearing a dress for the premier of her show Emily In Paris and the comments were all "that dress ain't it", "I love you Lilly, but that dress is horrible" and on and on. All I could think to myself is that it was interesting that these people think that Lilly Collin gives a shit about what they think of her red carpet dress, or her personal style in general. She's wearing that dress for her, and she's probably having a good time doing it. Be like Lilly Collins, or any celebrity that inspires you in a positive way and wear whatever the f*ck you want and have fun doing it. You only live once, it might as well be in clothes you enjoy, being the person you are now.
10. It's not your size, it's not that you're too busy, and it's not because you don't know what to wear, that you don't feel stylish. It is your beliefs. Believing that it is possible for you to be stylish and to have your own personal style is what will make it possible and is what will allow you to see beyond your size, confusion, or any other obstacle you feel is keeping you from having it. Telling yourself it just isn't for you will keep you stuck, start changing you beliefs and the way you look at personal style, and see how your personal style changes. This last one couldn't be more true for me. I was constantly trying to keep up with what was considered cute and stylish and never feeling like I would get there. I truly didn't believe that I could have the style that I wanted and so I didn't. Now that I do hold the belief my style is evolving in ways I had never thought were possible, and I see clothes entirely different now as well. The moment I started believing I could have the personal style I really wanted was when all of the doors started opening.
Love & Trust Yourself