Enjoying Personal Style
Instead of getting it right, I want to let you in on a little secret... on how to start enjoying personal style.
I didn’t start out knowing what I’m doing and there are many new things in fashion that I still don’t know how to do or wear. (but I don't let that stop me from the fun of trying them my way).
AND no one is guiding me telling me exactly how to do it or what to do.
I’m figuring it out everyday, for myself, because I get to, want to, and love to. And this is possible for you too!
At first I definitely felt like I had to look up to and essentially copy other people and brands that were considered in style in order for me to also feel stylish, but this is one of the biggest myths there is.
In order to actually enjoy personal style I realized I had to discover what I liked and loved, not what others do. (crazy right...) It meant letting go of getting it right, and fitting in, and embracing not knowing and finding myself.
This felt very scary at first, almost like I was making a colossal mistake... but I was willing to take that risk because up until that point everything I was doing didn't actually feel good when it came to trying to create my personal style and what I wore. I wasn't enjoying it anyway so giving myself the chance to get to know myself better and what I actually love to wear didn't seem so bad.
Believing that I could figure it all out happened when I shifted my focus from there being a right way to dress, to focusing on liberating my style by letting myself wear whatever I want, whenever I want, and being as playful and intentional as I want with my clothes, for me.
I started to find my own style when I started to believe that I could, and when I realized I was truly the only thing in my way, and that there is no right way, it's a myth, and a mainstream narrative.
So I want to ask you. What if it wasn’t about creating your personal style and having to get it right? Or having to have it be perfect?
What if it was about just having fun instead? about exploring and discovering yourself? or getting to know yourself again? what if it was everything you hoped dressing like an adult would be when you were little?
If you were to go into your closet or to go shopping with the intent to have fun, how does that feel different than going into it with the pressure of trying to create your personal style correctly?
Don't get me wrong there is a lot of advice and ways of creating personal style that can be incredibly helpful. The question I had to ask myself, and that made me feel better about clothes and style though was, "Does this way of creating my style actually feel good, and what emotions are coming up for me when I try to do it like this?"
Noticing if I actually felt bad or good about what I was doing helped me trust myself more and focus on doing the things that actually made me feel good about clothes instead of feeling pressure to simply dress a certain way.
If you want to start enjoying personal style more, and worry less about getting it right, here are some things you can start trying:
-Let go of the rules, they aren't real. Break them just for fun!
-Make it an intention for a week, month, or year, that when you get dressed, or go shopping your intention is to simply be curious about what you are drawn to. Or make your intention to just have fun with clothes, and when it stops being fun notice that and discontinue doing it.
-Remember that everything you wear is temporary and that we are on a floating rock... it's never the end of the world if you look bad, don't get it right, or aren't feeling stylish.
-Make all the bad outfits you can, it's how you find your way of doing this.
-Ask your younger self what she would love to wear today.
-Ask your favourite fictional character what they would love to wear today.
-Take lots of pictures and love on yourself. (This is something I couldn't have known the impact of when I started taking pictures of myself for work purposes). I now have a literal timeline of my style evolution and my own self discovery and it is such a beautiful thing to see how much I have changed, transformed, and grown. Results and changes usually aren't immediate, but I think that's what makes this so gratifying if you choose to keep going because you get to see a much larger, beautiful change in the long run, one that feels incredibly fulfilling, and a knowing that you chose yourself over and over again.
-When you notice yourself starting to worry about getting it right, put down the clothes and literally just shake it out (physically move your body) you can do some deep breathes too, but I find when I'm become panicky or upset moving my body helps me let go much faster.
-Celebrate every single win along the way no matter how small. Found an outfit you absolutely love, take a picture and love on yourself! Stopped wearing something that makes you feel gross, celebrate yourself!
Love & Trust Yourself