8 Ways Having Your Own Style Changes Your Life
One of the biggest misconceptions about personal style is that it's only purpose is to make you look put-together or "better", and that figuring this out has to be a draining waste of time.
So I wanted to share some of my favourite things that happened when I actually took personal style into my own hands and created my own authentic personal style.
Here are 8 ways having your own personal style changes your life:
1. Self Discovery & Self Love
Probably one of my favourite things about deciding you want to have your own authentic personal style is the self discovery and love that comes along with the process.
I realized quickly the reason why I was struggling so much with personal style is because I wasn't making it personal, I was just trying to fit into a style so that I could look put-together. I could dress, and put together outfits no problem, but it was incredibly unfulfilling.
When I acknowledged that what I was really doing was trying to recreate generic styles like boho chic, or minimalist, or even newer trends like coastal cowgirl, or cottage-core, with my only reason for trying to recreate them being that I liked how it looked on other people... everything changed.
I finally realized I wasn't doing the personal part of personal style. I wasn't making any of these styles my own, and I had no idea what I actually liked ON ME. It's nice to appreciate how others look in their personal style, but trying to copy that only got me a mismatched closet full of clothes that I didn't really like wearing.
When I decided to actually get more personal with it, I was able to actually ask myself what I was interested in, for me, and what I was willing to explore and try. This opened up so many doors and the reason it took me so long is because I was figuring out how to figure out what was right for me with no one who could ask question that could pull out my answers faster. Which is why when I did figure it out I knew I had to help other women do the same.
I was also able to be honest with myself about my expectations of trying to look like the societal norm instead of just looking like myself. I am a small person but I don't look like a model, and wearing clothes with the thought that it would make me look like a model, only to be let down when I would take a picture and did not was incredibly disheartening.
Figuring out what I liked to wear for the way that I actually look is one of the most loving things I have ever done and felt for myself. I actually feel seen by myself.
This one is long because it truly was the turning point that lead to me going within myself and learning to appreciate, embrace, love, and embody who I really am. Clothes have become one of my favourite ways to discover more about who I am and who I want to be. Clothes are also an amazing tool I get to use now like barometer to check in on how I am taking care of me.
This is possible for anyone!
2. No pressure to fit in
Having my own style means no pressure to fit in because I am embracing my own style instead of trying to fit into a singular boxed in aesthetic. I am going within for the answers, and no longer seek external validation, or worry if I am dressed appropriately. IT'S THE BEST.
It is also something that just naturally happens. I've noticed that I didn't and some of my clients didn't even notice that once they embraced their own style, the pressure to fit in fell away because they were fulfilled in wearing clothes that made them feel comfortable in their own skin instead of seeking confirmation that the way they were dressing was acceptable from other people.
3. More energy to focus on the life I want
I love this one! When you know what you want you don't have to fuss and worry about what you are going to wear, or bring feelings of defeat, anger, and irritation into the rest of your day with you. You also don't have to dread getting dressed in the morning.
You get to put on an outfit and just enjoy your life in it. Which may not seem like much, but it's the difference between berating yourself and what you wear throughout the day and being present to do all of the thing you love and want to do because you started your day off getting to be playful and wearing clothes that just feel like a second skin. Clothes stop being an energy drain and become a part of your day that sparks your imagination, joy, and curiosity.
4. An amazing relationship with my clothes
I no longer hate all of my clothes. I don't stare at my closet and wonder why I can't figure out what to wear, or why I feel like I nothing to wear.
I look at my clothes with love and excitement because all I see is beauty.
When you have your own personal style you start to build out a closet with clothes in it that you get to love on because you actually want to wear them.
The biggest thing though is that you stop using your clothes against yourself, and it no longer feels like they have power of you.
Your relationship with your clothes is entirely how you think about them, and when you change the way you connect with your clothes (coming from personal decisions, instead of someone else or following a random aesthetic) you change the way you think of them.
You can have an amazing relationship with your clothes where you get to look at them with love and excitement too, it just requires you to connect with what you want. It is so worth it.
5. Self Confidence & Trust
When you decide to put the personal in personal style and do the work to actually understand what you like for yourself, you build confidence and trust.
The more I dived into what actually mattered to me the more knowledgable I became about my personal style, and the more confident I was wearing my clothes, simply because I know what I like.
You develop trust with yourself because you are asking for answer from the only person who is an expert on what you want and need - you. Instead of searching for answers outside of yourself and constantly feeling unsure or insecure about style and how you show up in the world, you get to build a relationship with yourself where you have your own back. This builds confidence.
6. Clothes are a helpful tool to amplify my life
When you start infusing who you are into the clothes you wear it only amplifies your beautiful unique qualities. You get to feel at home in your clothes by aligning who you are with them, but you can also use them to uplift you as well.
We all have bad days, and sometimes you're going to need an outfit that supports you in that moment, but sometimes you're going to want something to uplift you and pull you out of a downward spiral. Knowing the power of your clothes and have a closet full of clothes that you love helps you do this on any given day.
You also start to learn how to draw more of what you want into your life. You learn what styles and things about clothes make you feel a certain way, and the vibes they give off and you can utilize them to decide how you want to experience any given day. This aspect of knowing your personal style and how you feel in certain clothes in incredibly powerful.
7. Anything to do with clothing is a fun experience I look forward to now
Think about the last time you went shopping, or even thought about going shopping... or even the last time you got dressed. If you are done with dreading these experiences or feeling frustrated during them you need to book a coaching call asap!!
Knowing your personal style literally makes the experiences you hate about clothes entirely different. If I told you you could plan a shopping trip or day for yourself that you are as excited for as you'd be if you were planning a vacation, what would you do?
This is how much excitement I have for shopping. For me, shopping is something I do for fun. I no longer dread any store, even the ones that I found overwhelming (looking at you marshal's and winner's), and it's like being a kid in a candy store. I am open to fashion instead of closed off and it's because I know what I like.
Getting dressed is also really fun. It's an opportunity every single day to express myself and can completely change your morning routine!
8. My standards are higher
Not just with my clothes. This level of self discovery and self love has taught me to be picky and patient in the best ways. I am no longer willing to settle, and it is really easy to spot where I am settling in other areas of my life too.
I love that setting standards with what I want with my clothes bled out into other areas of my life.
The best part of having higher standards with your clothes though is that you are no longer willing to buy and wear things that you don't actually wearing all that much, so you don't get caught in a style rut where you hate all of your clothes.
Having high standards with my clothes has shown me that I have so much power and control over my own life, and that it really doesn't matter what stores, brands, or influencers are trying to tell me how to dress or be. If what they are selling doesn't line up with my standards it simply means we are not a match and maybe that means I don't get to be a part of any trends this season, but it does mean that I am staying in integrity with my values and that is incredibly fulfilling.